...and now it's time for Skinner & T'witch's new, regular feature...(Steve) Skinner's Poem of the Week...

If all the world were upside down

If all the world were upside down, the British wouldn’t wear a frown.

They’d be wild and impolite, and sing and dance all through the night.

If all the world were upside down, the moon would travel underground.

To see the stars a-shining bright you’d have to dig them up at night.

The spinning planets could all take to circling round inside a lake,

And through the waters deep and black, we’d see the glowing zodiac.

Imagine dying upside down, where undertakers play the clown.

Instead of coffins when you die, they’d give you wings and let you fly.

Imagine living in reverse and being born inside a hearse.

If all the world were inside-out, there’d be cat walks for the stout.

All celebs would be large size, and slim folks taught to eat more pies.

Imagine cooking meals like that, you’d start with coffee, eat and chat,

Then baked potatoes, cheese and fish and end with raw spuds on a dish.

Instead of ending, you’d begin a concert with the violins,

Taking bows to shouts of 'More!', then starting with a grand encore.

If all the world were topsy-turve and straight lines bent into a curve,

The 10.15 from Waterloo would have to split longways in two,

Or as the railway lines divide, the train could stretch from side to side.

Imagine hunting back to front, where foxes gathered for the hunt,

Chased the riders ten to one, then ripped their flesh off just for fun.

If all the world was front to back, there’d be no armies to attack.

Soldiers' blood is never bled but each one builds a bridge instead.

If all the world were upside down, we’d share the planet fairly round,

And wealthy people owning lots of fancy houses, cars and yachts

Would have to live in damp bed-sits, surviving just on benefits,

Or desperate, homeless refugees could fly off to the Pyrenees,

Sipping cocktails by the seas as they enjoyed top salaries.

Imagine if the police would pounce on all those off-shore bank accounts,

Get bankers with their hidden stacks to pay some needed income tax.

If all the world was roundabout, we’d never dig our parsnips out,

But let them grow and grow so long, the tips at last would reach Hong Kong.

On the earth’s volcanic heat, they’d get cooked ‘til fine to eat.

Across the world, there’s food to share, with roasted parsnips everywhere!

So, I’m all for upside-downs and living with no sighs or frowns.

If we all lived in reverse, it couldn’t be much blooming worse!

You may think I’m mad as pie, but let’s give upside-down a try.

Copyright Steve Skinner 2017

Tags: New, Poem